This was stupid.
Updates shortly.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Well, well, well
It appears that the Broncos resoundingly beat the San Diego Chargers (A completely overrated team).
I'm telling you, they are going to start losing games badly.
But I will start seasoning my shoe.
I'm telling you, they are going to start losing games badly.
But I will start seasoning my shoe.
Monday, October 19, 2009
The Denver Broncos suck
Subject being said, they are 5-0 and are playing a Chargers team featuring sociopath Philip Rivers tonight. Their defense is number 1 prompting any football fan who listens to Howie Long's Mangenius every weekend, to exclaim, "But Gipper, don't defenses win championships?"
Their main claim to football fame is their passing defense, which has held teams to an average of 171.8 yards a game and 252.8 yards a game total. In a perfect football vacuum, where each team's offense starts at their own goal line (and assuming that every TD simply breaks the plane (Needing to find someone who can not only fly the plane, but didn't have the fish)) they keep most teams to only having about 2 and a half trips down the field, for a maximum potential of 14 points a game (Assuming then that I'm going to write in a parenthetical that it is impossible to kick a 65 yard field goal) . The most startling statistic there, though, is that instead they've allowed on average an unbelievable 8.6 points per team, defeating the hot as a pistol Cincinnati Bengals and Cedric "I'm on a boat" Benson in their season opener. Of course, the only reason they beat the Bengals occurred when Kyle Orton, facing time's grim scythe in the waning minutes of the game, forced a ball to a double covered Brandon Marshall only to have it tipped and land in Brandon Stokely's hands for an uncatchable TD run. The glorious 2009 Denver Broncoes won the game 12-7 and football journalists around the world started looking to crown coach Josh McBelichick as the best of the year.
To put their season into more context, and so you can't just accuse me of being a total hater, dude, the Broncos beat the Browns (outstanding), Oakland (JaMarcus Russel for UN Ambassador to Al Davis' House), the Dallas Cowboys (Well, the Dallas Cowboys suck this year and the Chiefs almost beat them, so don't go clicking that x just yet) and !!!!!THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS!!!!! This can't be a pretender team, they beat the worst Patriots team in years, at home, while Brady is still trying to recover from knee surgery! And if you think that's just excuse making, it took Peyton what, 5 weeks last year to get back into form (At which point he went straight into MVP form!!!!!!) and that the Patriots have had a rash of injuries, especially on defense (Belichick was all, I'll hold the Jerod Mayo, LOL). Since overtime in many ways is really just a 50-50 (I don't know the statistics on the Patriots in overtime, but I think I read somewhere that since their Superbowl win against the Raiders, the Patriots have never had a chance to win in overtime, never having gotten a chance to touch the ball), conceivably, the Broncos could have lost the game, and had lost the game to the Bengals, beating two of the worst teams in the league to be 3-2 (still over .500 though). That's a pretty impressive 5-0 team, is it not?
After the game, startled football watchers wretched as they saw Josh McDaniels act like a drunken frat boy after winning a game of beer pong by sinking same cup after being down all game. He charged across sidelines pumping his fist and howling into the air, making me feel the grossest I have ever felt since watching One Night in Chyna, the leaked sex tape featuring WWE star...Chyna. Marco Polo didn't take a long enough road to get to that one. Anyways, and as much as I think Belichick is a wimpy girly man for his inability to speak to another human, and for how awesomely baby he is, probably won't like seeing his ex-offensive coordinator letting out such a gratuitous display of joy over beating his former team. Not that McDaniels probably didn't feel great, but if the two teams play each other in the playoffs, I'm hoping to see Belichick unleash the fury that is being the most spiteful, hateful and jealous person outside of Michael Jordan. When dealing with people like that in society, generally you try to avoid setting them off because they will bring a gun to wherever you live and shoot you or give a highly vitrolic Hall of Fame speech after they've tapped you back down.
Now, offensively, the Broncos are a middling 12th in the league in yards, and 18th in the league in points per game, after having played two of the worst teams in the league. Not very impressive for a 6-0 team, if I dare say. If you compare them to the 2004 and 2005 New England Patriots, both those teams had offenses in the top 8 in both categories. If you look at Pittsburgh's defense in 2006, when their offense was considerably anemic for a Superbowl Victory, they still were the 7th highest team in yardage and 12th highest team in points. Now, you might make comparisons that the Broncos and Steelers are thus similar in that aspect, that Kyle "The Bottle" Orton is similar to Ben Roethlisberger's in his caretaker duties that year, you might come to the conclusion that the Broncos might have a chance and might be awesome after all and win the Super Bowl at which point I would film myself eating my own Reeboks.
However, this is where the importance of schedule strength really shows itself. The year the Steelers won the Superbowl, they didn't even win their own division, the Bengals did. Baltimore and Cleveland that year still went 6-10, winning three division games, whereas the Broncos division losers, Oakland and Kansas City, are putting up a respective 283 points against their teams, whereas Denver has 99 PF. Their division as a whole, also has one of the lowest scoring averages despite having been scored against at one of the highest rates, minus the Broncos defense. In comparion to the NFC south is the only division worse, and their statistics are severely inflated because of the inclusions of New Orleans, Tampa Bay and Carolina. And looking at who has a worse point for total, you are looking at the dregs of the league and teams so disenfranchised (Carolina, Kansas City, Oakland, Tennessee, Washington, Tampa Bay, Buffalo, Cleveland) that they will be undergoing at some point within the next few years a complete overhaul. Carolina, Oakland (Their coach is going to jail), Tennessee, Washington, Buffalo and Cleveland (Mangini isn't going to last) are all going to have enormous coaching overhauls for their offensive failures. And not suprisingly, playing against two of the worst teams in the league, Denver is in their illustrious company. Thank God for Josh McDaniels defensive coaching, right?
Now you can accuse me of misrepresenting stastistics all you want, but when the Denver Broncos begin their onslaught the next few weeks against the Ravens, the Steelers, Washington (blah) and then Chargers again, those teams are going to put points on the board and providing much more of a challenge. It'll come to see whether Denver, who was a yardage leader last year and scored 5 more points per game, will do against legitimate contender teams. And this time, if the Broncos lose, maybe we'll see that all McDaniels cares about is beating his former team.
Of course, I'm simply playing the devils advocate against a team with the best defense in the NFL, and that I honestly think the Chargers are going to be in for a rough night regardless of their bye week. The problem is that schedule strength means so much and that if the Broncos ever get blown out of the water due to serious deficiencies on offense and defense, the sports story of the year is going to look fairly mundane and Josh McDaniels is going to get off on saying that they played some very good teams for once, and not the dregs of the league, at which point, if there statistics don't represent a large superiority over these awful teams, means we are looking at one of the most overrated undefeated teams after 5 games in NFL history.
But tonight, that's up to wonderful Norv "I lost the Burner" Turner and a raging sociopath to decide.
Their main claim to football fame is their passing defense, which has held teams to an average of 171.8 yards a game and 252.8 yards a game total. In a perfect football vacuum, where each team's offense starts at their own goal line (and assuming that every TD simply breaks the plane (Needing to find someone who can not only fly the plane, but didn't have the fish)) they keep most teams to only having about 2 and a half trips down the field, for a maximum potential of 14 points a game (Assuming then that I'm going to write in a parenthetical that it is impossible to kick a 65 yard field goal) . The most startling statistic there, though, is that instead they've allowed on average an unbelievable 8.6 points per team, defeating the hot as a pistol Cincinnati Bengals and Cedric "I'm on a boat" Benson in their season opener. Of course, the only reason they beat the Bengals occurred when Kyle Orton, facing time's grim scythe in the waning minutes of the game, forced a ball to a double covered Brandon Marshall only to have it tipped and land in Brandon Stokely's hands for an uncatchable TD run. The glorious 2009 Denver Broncoes won the game 12-7 and football journalists around the world started looking to crown coach Josh McBelichick as the best of the year.
To put their season into more context, and so you can't just accuse me of being a total hater, dude, the Broncos beat the Browns (outstanding), Oakland (JaMarcus Russel for UN Ambassador to Al Davis' House), the Dallas Cowboys (Well, the Dallas Cowboys suck this year and the Chiefs almost beat them, so don't go clicking that x just yet) and !!!!!THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS!!!!! This can't be a pretender team, they beat the worst Patriots team in years, at home, while Brady is still trying to recover from knee surgery! And if you think that's just excuse making, it took Peyton what, 5 weeks last year to get back into form (At which point he went straight into MVP form!!!!!!) and that the Patriots have had a rash of injuries, especially on defense (Belichick was all, I'll hold the Jerod Mayo, LOL). Since overtime in many ways is really just a 50-50 (I don't know the statistics on the Patriots in overtime, but I think I read somewhere that since their Superbowl win against the Raiders, the Patriots have never had a chance to win in overtime, never having gotten a chance to touch the ball), conceivably, the Broncos could have lost the game, and had lost the game to the Bengals, beating two of the worst teams in the league to be 3-2 (still over .500 though). That's a pretty impressive 5-0 team, is it not?
After the game, startled football watchers wretched as they saw Josh McDaniels act like a drunken frat boy after winning a game of beer pong by sinking same cup after being down all game. He charged across sidelines pumping his fist and howling into the air, making me feel the grossest I have ever felt since watching One Night in Chyna, the leaked sex tape featuring WWE star...Chyna. Marco Polo didn't take a long enough road to get to that one. Anyways, and as much as I think Belichick is a wimpy girly man for his inability to speak to another human, and for how awesomely baby he is, probably won't like seeing his ex-offensive coordinator letting out such a gratuitous display of joy over beating his former team. Not that McDaniels probably didn't feel great, but if the two teams play each other in the playoffs, I'm hoping to see Belichick unleash the fury that is being the most spiteful, hateful and jealous person outside of Michael Jordan. When dealing with people like that in society, generally you try to avoid setting them off because they will bring a gun to wherever you live and shoot you or give a highly vitrolic Hall of Fame speech after they've tapped you back down.
Now, offensively, the Broncos are a middling 12th in the league in yards, and 18th in the league in points per game, after having played two of the worst teams in the league. Not very impressive for a 6-0 team, if I dare say. If you compare them to the 2004 and 2005 New England Patriots, both those teams had offenses in the top 8 in both categories. If you look at Pittsburgh's defense in 2006, when their offense was considerably anemic for a Superbowl Victory, they still were the 7th highest team in yardage and 12th highest team in points. Now, you might make comparisons that the Broncos and Steelers are thus similar in that aspect, that Kyle "The Bottle" Orton is similar to Ben Roethlisberger's in his caretaker duties that year, you might come to the conclusion that the Broncos might have a chance and might be awesome after all and win the Super Bowl at which point I would film myself eating my own Reeboks.
However, this is where the importance of schedule strength really shows itself. The year the Steelers won the Superbowl, they didn't even win their own division, the Bengals did. Baltimore and Cleveland that year still went 6-10, winning three division games, whereas the Broncos division losers, Oakland and Kansas City, are putting up a respective 283 points against their teams, whereas Denver has 99 PF. Their division as a whole, also has one of the lowest scoring averages despite having been scored against at one of the highest rates, minus the Broncos defense. In comparion to the NFC south is the only division worse, and their statistics are severely inflated because of the inclusions of New Orleans, Tampa Bay and Carolina. And looking at who has a worse point for total, you are looking at the dregs of the league and teams so disenfranchised (Carolina, Kansas City, Oakland, Tennessee, Washington, Tampa Bay, Buffalo, Cleveland) that they will be undergoing at some point within the next few years a complete overhaul. Carolina, Oakland (Their coach is going to jail), Tennessee, Washington, Buffalo and Cleveland (Mangini isn't going to last) are all going to have enormous coaching overhauls for their offensive failures. And not suprisingly, playing against two of the worst teams in the league, Denver is in their illustrious company. Thank God for Josh McDaniels defensive coaching, right?
Now you can accuse me of misrepresenting stastistics all you want, but when the Denver Broncos begin their onslaught the next few weeks against the Ravens, the Steelers, Washington (blah) and then Chargers again, those teams are going to put points on the board and providing much more of a challenge. It'll come to see whether Denver, who was a yardage leader last year and scored 5 more points per game, will do against legitimate contender teams. And this time, if the Broncos lose, maybe we'll see that all McDaniels cares about is beating his former team.
Of course, I'm simply playing the devils advocate against a team with the best defense in the NFL, and that I honestly think the Chargers are going to be in for a rough night regardless of their bye week. The problem is that schedule strength means so much and that if the Broncos ever get blown out of the water due to serious deficiencies on offense and defense, the sports story of the year is going to look fairly mundane and Josh McDaniels is going to get off on saying that they played some very good teams for once, and not the dregs of the league, at which point, if there statistics don't represent a large superiority over these awful teams, means we are looking at one of the most overrated undefeated teams after 5 games in NFL history.
But tonight, that's up to wonderful Norv "I lost the Burner" Turner and a raging sociopath to decide.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Very Special Guest
I'm never going to update again. You should get all your new music from Fox News' star anchor and investigative reporter:
See you later!
See you later!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Housekeeping
I didn't update today because I was too busy quitting my job and watching 9/11 conspiracy aggregation on the tel-ay. Also, the writing quality of several of my previous posts is abysmal, so expect some improvement when you're an older and closer to being deceased.
Big house-warming at my new apartment tomorrow. Hopefully I can find some cash so that I can pay to continue to live in it!
Hahaha, you just got owned by E/N content.
;(
Big house-warming at my new apartment tomorrow. Hopefully I can find some cash so that I can pay to continue to live in it!
Hahaha, you just got owned by E/N content.
;(
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Bark to the Future
Delorean- Ayrton Senna EP (Released 2009 on Mushroom/Foolhouse)
Monsoon
Ahh, hump day. If you're looking for something to impress people at whatever social gathering you're going to over the weekend, check out Barcelona's Delorean. Explosive dance pop with nothing but flashy synths and washes, there's nothing better than drinking a few wine coolers and getting down to this EP. If I could make a wine cooler that fits my personality, I'd call it "lilac-berry." Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Oh, and the title of this post is if Delorean ever replaced all their vocals with dogspeech.
The EP only has 4 actual songs with some re-mixes, but they're good. And I like them, so give it a download and if you like it you can just put it on your iTunes and go pump some iron, you musclemen.
Groovey Protein shake of the disco soul
Monsoon
Ahh, hump day. If you're looking for something to impress people at whatever social gathering you're going to over the weekend, check out Barcelona's Delorean. Explosive dance pop with nothing but flashy synths and washes, there's nothing better than drinking a few wine coolers and getting down to this EP. If I could make a wine cooler that fits my personality, I'd call it "lilac-berry." Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Oh, and the title of this post is if Delorean ever replaced all their vocals with dogspeech.
The EP only has 4 actual songs with some re-mixes, but they're good. And I like them, so give it a download and if you like it you can just put it on your iTunes and go pump some iron, you musclemen.
Groovey Protein shake of the disco soul
Monday, September 7, 2009
Zoo music, girl
Wildbirds and Peacedrums (The Snake- Leaf Records 2009)
Song: There is No Light
Have you ever wanted to hear the intersection of desolate African tribalism and Swedish avant-garde sound? Wildbirds and Peacedrums, a duo bound to get enormous praise when they top Pitchfork's best albums of 2009, compose frightening songs guaranteed to increase the pressure on your guts and organs (Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!). There is No Light has the singer, Mariam Wallentin, acting as a shamaness. Her frantic cries warn the listener of a coming apocalypse, portending that Mariam has been reading all the tea leaves and looking at the storm clouds and only see annihilation. The rest of the album is just as dark and brutal, with the only hope for respite coming from the listener holding on to the drum rhythmns for dear life.
What's interesting is how viable the two person (Often male and female, but not always) drum and other combo has been. Whether electronically with the Knife, or for more twee-pop with Mates of State, whatever music deity exists in the universe, it seems to be BEAMING a lot of creativity into these minimalistic duos capable of creating music more powerful than most 5 pieces. Also, you get the impression that the drummer from the Dodos, Vampire Weekend and Andreas Werliin from Wildbirds and Peacedrums were all penpals as children.
Here's the album!
Song: There is No Light
Have you ever wanted to hear the intersection of desolate African tribalism and Swedish avant-garde sound? Wildbirds and Peacedrums, a duo bound to get enormous praise when they top Pitchfork's best albums of 2009, compose frightening songs guaranteed to increase the pressure on your guts and organs (Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!). There is No Light has the singer, Mariam Wallentin, acting as a shamaness. Her frantic cries warn the listener of a coming apocalypse, portending that Mariam has been reading all the tea leaves and looking at the storm clouds and only see annihilation. The rest of the album is just as dark and brutal, with the only hope for respite coming from the listener holding on to the drum rhythmns for dear life.
What's interesting is how viable the two person (Often male and female, but not always) drum and other combo has been. Whether electronically with the Knife, or for more twee-pop with Mates of State, whatever music deity exists in the universe, it seems to be BEAMING a lot of creativity into these minimalistic duos capable of creating music more powerful than most 5 pieces. Also, you get the impression that the drummer from the Dodos, Vampire Weekend and Andreas Werliin from Wildbirds and Peacedrums were all penpals as children.
Here's the album!
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